Too much time in my brain

Wouldnt it be cool if weather was like pay per view. Pissed off or sad, order rain. Need an excuse to lay on the couch and watch football all day, order cold. I'm gonna bet the sunny and mild channel would be slow because of all the bandwidth.

Ever have 2 lightbulbs go out at the same time and only have 1 replacement? Choosing which one im gonna replace stresses me out. I mean if i choose the wrong one, looks like another midnight run to Kroger.

I wanna take a picture of a picture, but a bad picture. Then maybe that picture could be beautiful at last.

i've never seen a unicyclist on a cell phone.

Where do mime's get those invisble boxes that they always seem to be stuck in? Cause i dont want any of that.

Whenever i make food and it sucks i still eat it.

how come there is no bacon flavored gum?

Tommyrot

I googled the word google and my cpu exploded.
i've never met a stripper named Cathy.
Is it just me, or are old people going out of fashion?
you can't fuck up mac & cheese.
Nothing but bad can come from taking beer to church.
Looking back, i bet George Bush could just kick himself for having his brother fix the election back in 2000.
I wonder if i have a file with the FBI?
A landmine cost $3 to make and $1000 to disarm and remove. you think more thought would go into making these decisions on the front end.
Is it too soon for me to get a Kelly Clarkson tattoo?
Is the world ready for 4ply toilet paper?
Who wants to come over and play house?