Hacks

I believe that if you claim to be a comedian, you should be funny all the time. Thats right, always 'on'. It's not like its the worlds hardest job, come on. Not to say that being a jokester is easy. But, if you do it, do it.
Now, i'm no comedian myself. I wish i was that talanted, but i'm just a funny guy. Theres a big difference. Funny guy's say funny things. Comedians make people laugh, laugh and think. I have the utmost respect for the stand-ups i admire(and some i even don't). But, here is not what constitutes a comedian and what will keep you from making any real progress in life. There are the certain one hit wonder exceptions, of course, but they tend to go away fast.
1. Fat people who only talk about how fat they are. I get it your big. It's fun to point an laugh behind your back. But i don't think eating yourself into a career is the smartest move you can make.
2. People who dress odd or have bad hair cuts. Children can cut their hair with a bowl and talk about how stupid they look. Dogs can put on a zoot suit and say 'look at me'
3. People who only talk about the smart ass things they say. So, i told the waiter i wasn't here for the drawing... i don't need a ticket. It's not intelligent, it's not funny and i've heard it before.
4. Prop Comics..... KILL ME!
5. Paradoy singers.... Weird Al started it, Weird Al perfected it, and there doesn't need to be another Weird Al.
not an addition but a post script... black ladies, how funny the ghetto is and how lazy your man is... played out. it was origional for a while, now move on.
Maybe it's sour grapes, maybe some small shallow part of the population agrees with me, maybe I really do believe i'm funnier than these people. But the simple fact is intelligent, insightful observations on what makes us different or the same as anyone else is what real comedy is all about. I fart and call it gold. But it's still just a puff of wonderus wind.