No one on this planet wants a miracle weight loss pill than me. It's not a cop out or an excuse not to exercise. It's cause I'm fucking lazy and i love food!
I love french fries, I love sandwiches with lots of creamy sauce, fry it up and I'm probably gonna like it! Mix that with a genetic slow metabolism, then i have to really work to not balloon up even more than i have in the past. I've done good to lose as much weight as i have, but i seemed to have settled out at where i am for the last 6 months. Not good enough. I'm doing my part, i pulled the exercise bike out of the garage. Sure, it's in the kitchen now. But, i really wanted to do the right thing. There are carrots in my refrigerator. Somewhere in the back behind the Coke Zero and blue cheese dressing. I bought some yogurt. And i got a much needed workout lifting out of the fridge and throwing it away when it was out of date. Hey, i love bananas! with peanut butter or honey or chocolate sauce. I drink lots of water! But also lots of beer and vodka.
Don't get me wrong, i don't hate myself, but i did have a lot more sex back in the skinny days. I'm self confident, funny and honest. But, i have a serious love of pigging out and a pill that gave me a free pass would be fucking awesome.
Mitch Hedberg once said... 'That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."
Hopefully a little nip/tuck action will be covered on my insurance before too long.
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