Fatuities

Soft language, and peoples shame over what's natural and human have turned us into limp, delicate and afraid of our own smells.
I was at the doctor the other day and a man coughs, asks where is the 'restroom' because the medicine made him almost 'use the restroom on himself.'
1st. let's look at the word restroom. the occasional bubble bath is the only real rest you do in there. The strain room is more descriptive and appropriate. True story here: I was walking my dog one day and he was sniffing in some bushes and a fat old bitch(sorry, i mean elderly female) comes outside and in her most condescending voice yells 'your dog's not gonna use the bathroom there is he?' All, i could say was 'no ma am, i don't even see a toilet out here. though, he is sniffing him a spot in the back so i recon he may find this a good place to shit.' She just went inside, but that brings me to my second point....
2nd. The man almost shit himself. I would have accepted pooped too, but my point is that he's so uncomfortable with his own body he actually said use the restroom on himself!
I should have gotten offended at him. I mean if you're gonna use my restroom and not at least buy it dinner. Then you don't deserve my restroom.
Why cant you say the word shit on TV? The youngest baby to the oldest woman in the world does this. Using this logic: cry, breathe, booger, and blink are all words that should not be allowed on TV as well.

Farting and burping are just plain funny. we wont even get into that.

Nah, let's get into it. Ever sit in a leather chair in front of people you don't know. Before anyone at all reacts your first thought is to cover it up. Why!? A chair makes a noise, and you turn red because someone may have assumed you farted. Is this what this world's come too? A chair makes a noise and you are so afraid of what someone else would assume you make an even bigger deal about it by announcing that it was the chair. I've even seen some people sit up and sit down on the chair again to prove it. Like i got 3 seconds to spend with an asshole whose only conversation with me is 'hey look that wasn't me.' Fuck that, I've got better things on my mind, like where's the can in this place? I had Mexican for lunch!

and that's the last we'll ever speak of this